Nimrod GabrielSo it’s January. Again. You’re voluminous in precisely all the wrong places, because December is a pint of brandy butter disguised as a month. The temperature is a disgrace. Leaving the house seems like a monumental pain in the arse. We all know the drill.
However, thanks to the elegant dream-lives curated by our social media overlords, you may still be suffering from tremors of IG-administered FOMO. To this we say: keep on keeping on, friend. Use this month to feel yourself, whether that’s hibernating, catching up on essential reading or trying out a freaky new activity (steady on). Here’s some social flotsam we at Funzing.com think you can stand to miss this month.
SKIP IT: After work drinks
Give yourself this gift. Wearisome at the best of times, work drinks in January should be a no-fly zone. Not having to speak to Tim from Marketing off the clock is the highest form of self care. Any Sauvignon-sponsored office socialising can wait until February to propel you drunkenly up the ladder of your choosing. Promise.
SKIP IT: The ‘casual acquaintance’ birthday
Life in its infinite cruelty offers up a diverse range of deeply sexy and pleasurable indulgences for which to later punish yourself – so why not give the social self-flagellation a hard pass for one month. Sorry to throw a grenade into your delusions of social influence, but nobody will really miss you at Lucy’s Brixton drinks thing. Not even Lucy.
SKIP IT: Glamorous events
Who organises a bandage-dressy, tits-‘n-teeth-y event in JANUARY. The answer is psychopaths, exclusively. Avoid being hacked to pieces and dispose of all and every invitation with evidence of embossed lettering. Where we’re going, baby, we don’t need heels.
SKIP IT: First dates
First dates mean amplified grooming, hard liquor and nervous energy – can you honestly be bothered with this unholy trinity in the doldrums of this most unforgiving of months? Raincheck, babes; Tinder’s not going anywhere.
WORTH IT: Learning something new
Minimising unnecessary events doesn’t mean avoiding all social interaction. Taking some time to ‘do you’ doesn’t need to mean sitting inside re-watching GOT in a stained tracksuit; instead, why not use Funzing to explore an activity that you’ve always wanted to try but never quite got round to? Whether that’s learning how to create beautiful pottery, learning how to hula hoop or discovering your inner goddess (no, really!), why not use the remainder of your January to develop an interest, learn a new skill and meet some interesting new pals.
At the very least, you might just end up with some new friends to avoid next time January swings around.
